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KoD
11-29-2007, 03:26 AM
So. It says talk about your personal life and problems here, so I think I just might. Although, it seems like not many people have taken the thread seriously, I'm going to, just so I can vent off a bit. Laugh if you must, but this is all true. And its hardly laughable for me.

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I'm in year 10, nearly finished, bout a week or two to go.

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The story starts about 2 weeks into term one. I'd just broken up with a girlfriend I'd had for about a year and a bit, It wasn't an angry break up, or a sad one. We just both agreed that we were over each other, and the decision was joint. Anyway. This new girl comes to school, and I thought nothing of her at the time. She looked good, sure. But I didn't think that my life would have so much to do with her in the terms that followed. By the end of term one, we were going out. Now. Not many people agreed with it, because I'd only just broken up with my previous girlfriend. My own sister even called me a player. My parents thought it was to fast. Only my closest friends stuck by me through the entire thing.

We were going so great, we spent every minute together, we were more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. We were best friends. But alas, It wasn't meant to last. And all because I made a massive fucking mistake.

On July 17th, my very good mate had his birthday party. There was only a handful of us. About 9 or 10. We just hung out, there were no drinks, we just watched movies, talked, laughed. It was starting out as a good night.

Most of us were going to stay the night, but unfortunately things got confused for my girlfriend, and she ended up not being able to. I was devastated about it. Not because I wanted to 'score' with her, just because she was so much fun to be with and laugh with. But like I said, she couldn't.

My ex girlfriend was at the party. A girl, whom my girlfriend hated, just because she annoyed the shit out of her and was really cold towards her. When my girlfriend left the party, and everyone started to sleep, Myself, my ex girlfriend, and two other friends all jumped in a bed to sleep. The other two fell asleep, and my ex and I started talking about how much we missed our girlfriend/boyfriend.

Anyway. Things went on, and it led to me cheating on my girlfriend. I wont go into detail. As soon as it happened, I got a mass wave of regret. I knew that I'd fucked up. And I loved my girlfriend so much that I didn't want to lose her. Ever. So, when I went home, I jumped on msn, and talked to my ex. I said that we had to NEVER tell anyone. NEVER. She agreed.

I couldn't do it. I felt so guilty and shitty that with in hours, I was on the phone to my girlfriend. I told her. And the silence that followed was pure pain.

Anyway, I get to school and my girlfriend walks up to me, gives me a letter and turns away. In short, the letter was very...angry. But she said she didn't want to break up with me. I was so thankful, for a week. Then she dumped me. Saying that she couldn't trust me and that I'd hurt her deeply.

I can tell this is getting insanely long, and that people wont want to read all of it, But hey...I feel a bit better getting it all off my chest.

Anyway. I'm heart broken. I go away for a week with my mate, and return home to find that shes got a new boyfriend. I still stayed her best friend, and I even help her set up a few things with this boy, even though I loved, and still do, her.

He then ends up just completely ignoring her. And then rumors start about how she apparently cheated on me (with a different guy to the one that started ignoring her), before I cheated on her, and was just waiting for an excuse to break up with me.

Months pass, and the guy that started the rumors, and the guy she 'apparently' was having it off with, while still with me, made my life hell. They became good friends. Really good friends. He had his driving license so he always drove out to her house. A few more weeks pass, and she tells me that she wants to get back together with me, (Note; the rumors that that guy made up were not true) and that she just needed time.

I was over the moon.

But then the school held its yearly drama/music/dance concert. And I catch her and this guy holding hands. I wanted to kill him. The feeling of hatred that ran through my body that night, and days after, was...incredible.

She comes to school the next day and tells me that she still loves me, and feels so bad for what she did. I forgave her.

A few weeks later, my first ex (Clare) has her birthday party. I wanted my answer from Brianna (The girlfriend I just cheated on) on whether or not we were going to get back together. It ended with a no.

So I was shattered, once again.

She then, a few more months later. Goes out with the guy that started all the rumors (Tim). Please note this few key facts:
1. He wrecked her friendship with many of the girls. All the girls at our school think she is a complete slut.
2. He's made he cry many times.
3. Hes made mine and hers friendship really rocky, and nearly end.

Now, why the fuck does she give him a second chance, and not me?
Dont have a clue. It cut me to the bone though. I cried, for the second time. (Cried when she broke up with me). Yeah. Manly, huh.

Anywho. Quick step forward: He lies through his teeth to her about me, and she catches on. She dumps him. He hates me. I hate him. He finishes school (Was in year 12).

Things slowly start to pick up from there. We become closer and closer, and we've prolly hooked up at every thing we've gone out to.

However, through this entire thing, I have become insanely protective of her. She has a really really really close friend. Shes one of her old ex's. He still has the hots for her. I become very jealous of any guy that even looks at her. I hate every guy that rips her off, has fun with her, flirts with her, anything. And i hate it. I cannot stand it. Its caused more fights than I can explain.

Now, the jealousy leads to an anger. And the anger leads to a depression. I got bitten by a spider the other day, and all I thought was 'Please please please be poisonous' - Every day I always think 'Things would be so much easier if I was just dead'. I hate school. I hate life. I hate everything.

My formal is tomorrow night, I'm going with Brianna. My parents are being complete pricks and will not let me attend the after party. I'm arguing with one of my best friends, over something thats so stupid and pointless. I've made her cry about it to. And I feel so bad. Yet when ever I talk to her, I'm cold, and a complete prick. I want to say sorry, but pride stands in my way.

I've burned names into my arm. I've cut names into my arm. I've cut up my chest all because of the 'thrill of the pain'.

I feel like I hate everyone. Like there is nothing worth living for in my life. And quite honestly; I really do just want to die. For it to all end now.

Want to know whats keeping me from actually doing it?

'If I die, I wont be able to talk to Brianna'.

Its that thought. She literally is keeping me alive.

I hate my life, I hate my family, I hate most of my friends. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore.

Call me emo, call me stupid, say its 'typical teenage life' - whatever.

I dont expect advice, I dont expect sympathy. I just need people I can actually talk to about it, because to be quite frank, my friends have told me to just 'Get over it'.

Some friends.

...Chris...
11-29-2007, 07:34 AM
Well it sounds like she's playing you bro, but i wouldn't know exactly, but i've witnessed situations like this, and it just goes to hell. She can literally be telling you exactly what you want to hear, or she really does have feelings for you, and wants you under her control. But i don't really know. The best thing to do right now, honestly, is just spend the night at Grey's bring lotion and have yourself a good time. Sorry couldn't help myself. But really just ask her if she's willing to take the next step, and if shes not, then i don't know from there you have to decide whats best. But suicide is not the answer, its the question, no is the answer.

Sergio
11-29-2007, 12:52 PM
Just move on is great advice. Seriously, just move on. There comes a point in relationships where things turn to shit, too many fights, too many break ups and going back together. That's not a stable relationship at all. Even if you were back with her, would it even be the same again?

There's literally millions (billions?) of women out there. You'll find someone else. You thought you loved your first girlfriend, then came Brianna .. the same thing can happen again. Someone else will come.

It's not worth it to die. Life is beautiful. In the end it's things like these that make your stronger, almost invincible. There's so many things in my life I used to regret, but now I realize that it's made me all who I am inside (I used Tom's lyrics because I couldn't have said it better myself).

Your new motto:
"Pain and Stress are just a test,
to sort the champions from the rest!"

- Liz

Jay
11-29-2007, 04:15 PM
The best advice I can give was kind of already given, but I'll repeat it, you need to ask her what's the deal, where's it going? Is it all just a game to fuck with your mind? and if she tells you that there's nothing, tell her this:

"Fine, I'm moving on, have a nice life."

Grey
11-29-2007, 06:29 PM
To be honest, it sounds like she is using you as a backup boyfriend. It seems like she doesn't want to be alone so she keeps you on the side. But when another guy comes along, she goes with him. And if they brake up, she knows she can still "use" you untill another one comes around. I've gone through this shit too. It lasted 2 & 1/2 years (last of 8th grade, all of 9th and 10th). Highschool is the worst time to have a girlfriend. All of the social drama ruins a relationship. Plus most girls (and guys) arn't truly ready for a relationship. You thought you loved her but it couldn't have really been love if it was so easy to cheat on her. During your teen years, it is REALLY easy to mistake ceratin feelings for love. When your older, and you truly fall in love, you will be able to look back on this girl and say "wow, what was I thinking? I wish I had known what I know love is now..."

My full on advice for everyone is not to get involved in relationships during highschool because they very rarely last beyond highschool, and usually end in major hurt break. Just try to enjoy highschool by being friend with people and not making thoes false connections that feel like love but end up destroying the good in you. Once I stopped worrying about relationships in hgihschool, I LOVED my last two years. It was all fun because I didn't have any of the drama around me. All of my friends did, but I didn't.. I went from all F's to all A's, and became alot more social and happy. And was able to focus on all of my interest and talents which improved myself even more. SO thats my advice and opinion in it all. I'm sorry your going through rough times right now but it will get better if you make the right choices, even if they seem to hard to do.

KoD
12-10-2007, 01:28 AM
I thank you guys all for your advice.
I'm going to use this topic to vent a bit more.

-

Ready for my life part 2?

Last night, I was on msn. I was chatting to Brianna's old friend, Amanda. I used to think she hated my guts, but she's recently started talking to me and we've been getting along nicely. Anyway, she mentions that Brianna is going out with her long time very good friend Thomas. (They'd been together and broken up a few times before she came to my school). I was confused. Because Up until now, Brianna & I had been hooking up at all the parties, we went to the formal together. She was telling me that she wanted to get back together after the new year. I was confused as hell.

I talked to Thomas, and what Amanda had said was true. Yet he told me they had been going out for at least a few months now. Which would mean that Brianna cheated on him. At least twice.

Needless to say, Tom & I were confused, worried and cut. We got no sleep at all. I feel like im about to pass out im so tired. Anyway. We needed to talk to Brianna and find out what was going on.

Brianna signs on msn at 1030am. Thomas left msn to go to work at 10. I talked to her, she confessed that she was going out with Tom but was 'So confused about everything' and that there was 'something about me that she could not let go'. I questioned her about why she did not tell me, and her response was 'I made a massive mistake, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already have.

We talk and talk and talk. And I slowly start to lose control. My responses become cold, sharp, and very sarcastic. She realises whats happening and she instantly starts apologising for everything. I asked her to tell me the answer to one question.

Me: "Do you love me, or Tom?"
*5 Minute Pause*
Her: "I need time to figure that out"
Me: "Thats answer enough, because if you have some doubt, then you obviously don't love me. You just like me. Tom has a completely clean slate, he has never upset you, never cheated on you. How am i supposed to compete against that. I couldn't even compete against Tim. You pick Tom. Fine. Good luck with your lives. Goodbye Brianna"

And i signed off.
I had a shower to cool down, I'd never felt so upset in my entire life. This was the third time. The third time i thought i was getting somewhere with her. And then she just pulls out everything from under me. I hated her. I hated myself for trusting her. I hated everything. I felt like grabbing drawers and smashing the mirror and windows with them.

After my shower, I'd calmed down. I went into my room. And let loose. I bawled my eyes out. I then receive a text from Brianna telling me how she has 'No one to talk to, and how she wants to talk to me and wishes that we could still stay bestfriends, and how she is crying'.

I got back on msn, and told her that I didnt care what she did with her love life now. I told her that I dont care if shes with Thomas. I told her that it was her choice, her decision. But I will not be a part of it. I said how i would remain one of her closest friends, and she would mine. And that she owes me a fucking massive hug to make up for this.

Everything was fine for a while.

She then talks to Thomas, for the first time since this whole thing broke out. Thomas now knows that she cheated on him. She constantly reassures him that she 'Loves him' and 'Never wants to lose him'. When Tom told me this...my blood began to boil. I'd told her that i wanted nothing to do with her love life, knowing deep down that i still cared for her deeply.

That leads to now. I feel the same hate for everything, that I felt in the shower. I feel like yelling at her. I feel...i dont know what i feel.

Confusion.
Upset.
Depression.
Hate.
Anger.
Crushed.

And the same thoughts are running through my mind...whats the point of living through this.

...Chris...
12-10-2007, 02:10 AM
best thing to do is to just not be friends with her at all, its best if you let her go, It'll take time to get over her, but its best for you, don't worry once you find your next girlfriend she'll be running back to you, and you'll be over her. just give it time. try to not talk to her.

Grey
12-10-2007, 03:08 AM
She just wants to have on the side. Shes not worth it at all. Move on to a nre girl with a clean slate that you can trust. OR just take a break from relationships all together.

BoxcarKid18244
12-10-2007, 03:04 PM
This sounds like my friend's situation. He won't get over his ex. He is still "best friends" with her, which I don't think really helps you get over someone, but he won't listen to us.

KoD
12-12-2007, 08:16 PM
So pretty much, I tell her I want nothing to do with her. I tell her that I'm going to move on, and stay out of her love life. And she'll stay out of mine.

She panics. She tells me that she still loves me and that she knows she's made a mistake with Tom.

I ask her to make her decision. She says she needs to sleep on it.

She gets on the next day, tells me that she's going to stay with Thomas.

It hurt, *again*.

But you know what...


I expected it.

...Chris...
12-12-2007, 11:11 PM
well that's good for you now you can move on from her.

Grey
12-12-2007, 11:13 PM
well that's good for you now you can move on from her.

and onto me

...Chris...
12-12-2007, 11:30 PM
Kod <3's grey

KoD
12-13-2007, 06:05 AM
Lol. That made me laugh.

Thanks guys:) My RL friends struggle to do that these days. :)

Jay
12-13-2007, 09:54 PM
Real life gets boring sometimes (especially for midterms..) This place however, always makes me laugh.