stephy
02-23-2008, 07:45 PM
You dont have to read this. Its mainly a stress realise cause other wise i am just guna either have another mental brakedown or just brakedown in tears compleatly.
My brother decides to go out with my best friend behind my back without telling me. so i am up in my room one night watching skins (L) and i find it very upsetting and i come downstairs after its finished which was about half 12ish at night and my mums like...you found out then?
and i am like..Found out about what? And she says " kayley and michael are like.. yeah together now " and i was like :|...okay?.
She talks me through it and says that Michael says they " belong together " so i get all worked up about it cause i dont really wana loose my best friend. So my mums on msn talking to my brother and kayley in a joint convo and clearly my mother isnt happy about it so she tells them and michaels like " i dont care mum its my life" so it ends up being a massive argument and kayley says " its up to you steph wither me or mike go out." so i am stuck what to do and because she is my best friend i say yes, its your life not mine.
so i go upstairs and listen to some ava full blast with my dj mixer ear phones on and just try and carlm myself down. I get a text of kayley about half an hour later saying " are you sure your okay with it." but i didnt want to lie to her by saying yes cause its blates that i am not.
So i just write " Hi, my name is tom...delonge..but it should be delooonge casuse i went to france and they said i was pronouncing it wrong, but i was like no its delonge! and they go no it is er...DELONGE! " and she texts back saying " And i was like fuck yeah that sounds rad!"
So i neveer said i was happy with it.
The next day at school everyone comes up to me and askes me a million and one questions about it and i just say what i was thinking. Id never answer there questions. But kelly ( my other best friend ) can clearly see there is somthing wronge cause i only say urethra qoutes when i dont want to say what i atcually feel. And i tell her everything thats happend and happening and how kayley said that " nothing is guna change between us steph. am guna see you just as much as i do now" and everything but the truth is. I havnt seen her outisde of school for over a week now.
She keeps lying to me about where she is and what shes doing and i can tell my brother has been to her house cause he smells like her house.
I had a go at my brother for " ruining my life " - abit over dramatic but i really wanted to make my point. And he is just like " FUCK OFF STEPH! " and slams the door in my face.
I have no one to turn to.
My Closests mates are going further and further away from me. Even when i am in class with 30 other kids surrounding me i still feel alone and lost in my own thoughts.
My mums been drinking ALOT more then she normally does latley aswell so i dont wana ask her for any of the money i need for my school trips so i am failing in them classes aswell as my normal ones cause i am not focused on what i am doing latley. I have a writing block so i cant even do my music course work which has to be in in 2 weeks.
I dont know what to do. you dont have to reply. i just needed to rant.
gaaaaaaah.
My brother decides to go out with my best friend behind my back without telling me. so i am up in my room one night watching skins (L) and i find it very upsetting and i come downstairs after its finished which was about half 12ish at night and my mums like...you found out then?
and i am like..Found out about what? And she says " kayley and michael are like.. yeah together now " and i was like :|...okay?.
She talks me through it and says that Michael says they " belong together " so i get all worked up about it cause i dont really wana loose my best friend. So my mums on msn talking to my brother and kayley in a joint convo and clearly my mother isnt happy about it so she tells them and michaels like " i dont care mum its my life" so it ends up being a massive argument and kayley says " its up to you steph wither me or mike go out." so i am stuck what to do and because she is my best friend i say yes, its your life not mine.
so i go upstairs and listen to some ava full blast with my dj mixer ear phones on and just try and carlm myself down. I get a text of kayley about half an hour later saying " are you sure your okay with it." but i didnt want to lie to her by saying yes cause its blates that i am not.
So i just write " Hi, my name is tom...delonge..but it should be delooonge casuse i went to france and they said i was pronouncing it wrong, but i was like no its delonge! and they go no it is er...DELONGE! " and she texts back saying " And i was like fuck yeah that sounds rad!"
So i neveer said i was happy with it.
The next day at school everyone comes up to me and askes me a million and one questions about it and i just say what i was thinking. Id never answer there questions. But kelly ( my other best friend ) can clearly see there is somthing wronge cause i only say urethra qoutes when i dont want to say what i atcually feel. And i tell her everything thats happend and happening and how kayley said that " nothing is guna change between us steph. am guna see you just as much as i do now" and everything but the truth is. I havnt seen her outisde of school for over a week now.
She keeps lying to me about where she is and what shes doing and i can tell my brother has been to her house cause he smells like her house.
I had a go at my brother for " ruining my life " - abit over dramatic but i really wanted to make my point. And he is just like " FUCK OFF STEPH! " and slams the door in my face.
I have no one to turn to.
My Closests mates are going further and further away from me. Even when i am in class with 30 other kids surrounding me i still feel alone and lost in my own thoughts.
My mums been drinking ALOT more then she normally does latley aswell so i dont wana ask her for any of the money i need for my school trips so i am failing in them classes aswell as my normal ones cause i am not focused on what i am doing latley. I have a writing block so i cant even do my music course work which has to be in in 2 weeks.
I dont know what to do. you dont have to reply. i just needed to rant.
gaaaaaaah.