View Full Version : Jokes
Jenni_182J
07-29-2007, 05:45 PM
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None; let the bitch cook in the dark!
:D
takes one to know one182
07-29-2007, 11:08 PM
do you mean women?
do you mean women?
no. She did it right.
takes one to know one182
07-29-2007, 11:31 PM
oh lol sorry, i didnt think it through.
My bad.
Jenni_182J
07-30-2007, 05:48 PM
:D
Knock knock
who's there?
your mum
yout mum who?
WTF? Are you some kinda retard or something? It's your mother! Fuck you. Get you of my house.
That wa son TV lik yesterday! It made me laugh. A lot.
Jenni_182J
07-30-2007, 07:32 PM
Cool, what show?
I truly don't know.
I think it was on BBC3
It was like 11?-12?
It was basically about a crazy family.
MUST research.
Jenni_182J
09-05-2007, 12:29 PM
OHOHOHOH
i heard the best joke today
Whats green and smells like pork?
Kermits' finger :D
boxcarracer
09-05-2007, 07:32 PM
What's the first thing a woman should do after she leaves the battered wives shelter?
The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.
What's black, blue, and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in the trunk.
I give credit to jenni for those, she posted them on my myspace a while back.
...Chris...
09-05-2007, 11:47 PM
how did helen keller's parents punish her....
they left the plunger in the toilet.
boxcarracer
09-06-2007, 07:21 PM
lmfao
why is abbreviate such a long word?
j3lly_b3lly
09-07-2007, 06:37 AM
There was a rabbit and a bear and the bear asked the rabbit
"Do you have a problem with shit gettin stuck to your fur"
"No" The rabbit said.
So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped its arse with it
There was a rabbit and a bear and the bear asked the rabbit
"Do you have a problem with shit gettin stuck to your fur"
"No" The rabbit said.
So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped its arse with it
lmao.
if a quiz is a quizzacle,
what's a test?
Cardboard
09-07-2007, 11:32 PM
LMFAO. You guys know good ones, every single one made me laugh out loud
...Chris...
09-08-2007, 04:05 AM
There was a rabbit and a bear and the bear asked the rabbit
"Do you have a problem with shit gettin stuck to your fur"
"No" The rabbit said.
So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped its arse with it
lmao.
if a quiz is a quizzacle,
what's a test?
TESTICLE!
why.. did the chicken... cross the road..?
*smirks*..to get to THE OTHER SIDE!
shit yeah thats a good one.
boxcarracer
09-08-2007, 06:21 PM
hell yeah it is 8)
watch1the8world2
09-08-2007, 06:25 PM
why did the gum cross the road?!?!? :D
why did the gum cross the road?!?!? :D
because the chicken stepped on it?
watch1the8world2
09-08-2007, 09:09 PM
bingo! lol
why didnt the chicken cross the road?
because hes a chicken
why didnt the chicken cross the road?
because hes a chicken
why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
cuz he didn't have the guts to do it. 8)
...Chris...
09-08-2007, 11:37 PM
How do they make roads in South Africa?
They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.
watch1the8world2
09-08-2007, 11:50 PM
lol... thats mean man =( lol but it's sorta funny, except for the part where i saw hotel rwanda which made me think alot
boxcarracer
09-09-2007, 12:32 AM
what do you call a fake noodle?
an impasta!!
Jenni_182J
09-09-2007, 03:38 PM
why is abbreviate such a long word?
This wasn't answered :O
Why?
why is abbreviate such a long word?
This wasn't answered :O
Why?
cuz there is no answer. it's just a question.
Jenni_182J
09-09-2007, 03:49 PM
why is abbreviate such a long word?
This wasn't answered :O
Why?
cuz there is no answer. it's just a question.
doo doo doo
why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
watch1the8world2
09-09-2007, 06:05 PM
whoa.... lol
Cardboard
09-09-2007, 10:47 PM
They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.
I don't get it, why have every other one smile? :?
...Chris...
09-09-2007, 11:04 PM
They make the black people lay down and have every other one smile.
I don't get it, why have every other one smile? :?
have you seen roads? its black and white
iCanon
09-10-2007, 01:59 AM
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
you can roast beef
boxcarracer
09-10-2007, 06:42 PM
you could pee in soup though
Jenni_182J
09-12-2007, 04:19 PM
what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
punch her in the face
:D
what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
punch her in the face
:D
lmao.
you can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad, but you can put chicken shit in someone's chicken salad.
~Tom DeLonge
Jenni_182J
09-13-2007, 01:46 PM
you cant get anymore wiser than that
...Chris...
09-13-2007, 02:35 PM
a hooker walks into a bar, what does she say?
ouch
stephy
10-28-2007, 08:32 AM
To balls go into a pub. One goes to the other one.. " your round "
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
....:)
blinkrocks121212
10-28-2007, 10:18 AM
whos there
blinkrocks121212
10-28-2007, 11:13 PM
lol
...Chris...
10-29-2007, 11:07 AM
Yo mama is so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo mama is so mofo fat dat I can't eben joke about it because she may die anyday from a mofo heart attack. But her ass is fine as hell.
AlouViseA
10-29-2007, 05:01 PM
a wife and husband are having sex.
she's on top. bouncing up and down.
their little son walks in.
is terrified and runs out.
and pretends to be asleep for the rest of the night
in the morning he asks "what we're you going to daddy last night?
"well, after a hard days work your dads belly bloats up. and i was trying to get it down"
"oo.. ok then...
but mammy, whats the point? because soon as you go to work the nextdoor lady comes round, gets on her knees and blows it right up!"
hahahaha :D
+Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.
TheAdventure
10-29-2007, 06:49 PM
A Jewish man walks into a bar... and buys it.
YAYAforBlink
10-31-2007, 11:09 PM
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick!
Have you seen that movie "constipation" yet?
No
Oh, thats right...i guess it didnt come out yet.
watch1the8world2
10-31-2007, 11:17 PM
what did the chinese people name their retarted kid?
sum ting wong!!!! (sound it out)
...Chris...
11-01-2007, 01:07 AM
rofl.
TheAdventure
11-01-2007, 09:54 PM
That was a good one.
watch1the8world2
11-01-2007, 10:07 PM
thank you, my older sister is a special ed teacher, she told me it =/
boxcarracer
11-01-2007, 10:43 PM
why don't black people like country music?
Because everytime they say "hoedown" they think someone shot their sister.
stephy
11-02-2007, 07:03 AM
James walked in on his mum and dad having sex and his dad sees him stood at the door.
He shouts at james and tells him to go back to sleep and they laugh it off.
In the morning when james dad walks into james room he see's him fucking his grandmar.
James turns round and shouts "its not so funny when its your mum is it? "
LMAO
Love that one :)
James walked in on his mum and dad having sex and his dad sees him stood at the door.
He shouts at james and tells him to go back to sleep and they laugh it off.
In the morning when james dad walks into james room he see's him fucking his grandmar.
James turns round and shouts "its not so funny when its your mum is it? "
LMAO
Love that one :)
OMG. I. CANNOT. BREATHE.
That was fucking hilarious!
holy shit, that was really fuckin funny.
nikki
11-25-2007, 07:39 PM
holy hell i love that one!!
i have to tell my friends that!!
wow
okay heres one
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
You type just like Stephy 182.
nikki
11-25-2007, 07:49 PM
what do you mean??
Look at all of her post. They are typed the same with the long strings of words then the next line is short and so on.
All hers look like this:
holy hell i love that one!!
i have to tell my friends that!!
wow
okay heres one
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother
nikki
11-25-2007, 08:01 PM
hmm
well i didnt do it on purpose
but a good observation
nikki
11-26-2007, 06:25 PM
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.
Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.
Your mom's so big, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
Your mom's so fat, she influences the tides.
Your mom's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
Your mom's so fat, they got her face on the Crisco can.
and thats all i havee
...Chris...
11-26-2007, 07:25 PM
this is not yo momma!
Jenni_182J
11-27-2007, 04:24 PM
This is.
hahahaha
its good to have Jennnni back.
nikki
11-27-2007, 06:21 PM
This is.
umm
wtf??
...Chris...
11-27-2007, 08:23 PM
This is.
lmfao
Marcus
12-06-2007, 08:14 PM
whats the difference between a jew and a box of pizza?
...Chris...
12-06-2007, 08:42 PM
pizzas dont scream when they go in the oven
watch1the8world2
12-06-2007, 10:26 PM
This is. i am doing a marriage lab in biology and that looks like my wife..... my teacher loves me :roll:
watch1the8world2
12-13-2007, 05:33 PM
how do you fit 4 gay men on a stool?
My Only Fear
12-13-2007, 05:37 PM
how do you fit 4 gay men on a stool?
Turn it upside down and stick a leg up their butt?
watch1the8world2
12-13-2007, 05:39 PM
lol
boxcarracer
12-14-2007, 05:52 PM
why is santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
...Chris...
12-14-2007, 06:01 PM
HAHAHAHHAHAH!
Marcus
12-14-2007, 08:44 PM
why are black people so tall?
...Chris...
12-14-2007, 10:31 PM
because they're knee grows
Marcus
12-15-2007, 01:20 AM
why do mexicans like tamales at xmas time
Sergio
12-15-2007, 02:24 AM
Why?
Marcus
12-15-2007, 02:28 AM
its the only thing they get to unwrap!
stephy
12-15-2007, 05:50 PM
:|!
Marcus
12-16-2007, 10:49 PM
you guys wanna hear a +44/AVA joke?
watch1the8world2
12-16-2007, 10:50 PM
lets hear it
boxcarracer
12-16-2007, 10:54 PM
i bet it will suck
Marcus
12-16-2007, 10:55 PM
its on my myspace blog
boxcarracer
12-16-2007, 10:55 PM
like i'm gonna go to your myspace to read a joke.
Marcus
12-16-2007, 10:59 PM
ok www.myspace.com/kristannaloken4ever the blog is called +44/AVA joke. copy and paste it here I will explain the punch line
My Only Fear
12-16-2007, 11:41 PM
ok www.myspace.com/kristannaloken4ever the blog is called +44/AVA joke. copy and paste it here I will explain the punch line
DIY if you care so much.
Marcus
12-17-2007, 12:05 PM
+44/AVA joke!
Ok, Angels and Airwaves walks into the bar,some guys says who are you Tom says! I sing and play guitar in AVA. the other memeber address themselves Atom i play drum, Ryan i play Bass, David I play guitar!.
+44 walks into the bar and a guy says who are you! Mark goes i play bass and sing! Craig I play guitar and sing! Travis I play drums! Shane I play guitar! Carol I used to play guitar and sing in +44!
It will take a whil to get it, it may even offend some of you! and I wrote it before Ryan left the band
...Chris...
12-17-2007, 04:13 PM
...i don't get it?
My Only Fear
12-17-2007, 05:14 PM
+44/AVA joke!
Ok, Angels and Airwaves walks into the bar,some guys says who are you Tom says! I sing and play guitar in AVA. the other memeber address themselves Atom i play drum, Ryan i play Bass, David I play guitar!.
+44 walks into the bar and a guy says who are you! Mark goes i play bass and sing! Craig I play guitar and sing! Travis I play drums! Shane I play guitar! Carol I used to play guitar and sing in +44!
It will take a whil to get it, it may even offend some of you! and I wrote it before Ryan left the band
You said this a very long time ago. It sucked then and it sucks now.
boxcarracer
12-17-2007, 05:15 PM
what the hell are you talkiing about?
+44/AVA joke!
Ok, Angels and Airwaves walks into the bar,some guys says who are you Tom says! I sing and play guitar in AVA. the other memeber address themselves Atom i play drum, Ryan i play Bass, David I play guitar!.
+44 walks into the bar and a guy says who are you! Mark goes i play bass and sing! Craig I play guitar and sing! Travis I play drums! Shane I play guitar! Carol I used to play guitar and sing in +44!
It will take a whil to get it, it may even offend some of you! and I wrote it before Ryan left the band
How is that a joke? Its just a story. You suck.
watch1the8world2
12-17-2007, 07:03 PM
that wasn't even funny
Marcus
12-17-2007, 07:18 PM
ok are you ready
watch1the8world2
12-17-2007, 07:20 PM
yep
blinkrocks121212
12-17-2007, 07:40 PM
no, i'm not
Marcus
12-17-2007, 07:44 PM
in +44 Mark and Craig sing. In AVA Tom hogs the microphone
watch1the8world2
12-17-2007, 07:47 PM
well i mean i people are going to lash out at this, but completley honestly its really not that funny, i mean it's not like david or matt have asked to sing, and it doesn't go with the rest of the joke and it really isn't a very good joke cause it's totally biased
blinkrocks121212
12-17-2007, 08:29 PM
Ryan sang once before and David and Matt probably dont even want to sing
boxcarracer
12-17-2007, 08:33 PM
+44/AVA joke!
Ok, Angels and Airwaves walks into the bar,some guys says who are you Tom says! I sing and play guitar in AVA. the other memeber address themselves Atom i play drum, Ryan i play Bass, David I play guitar!.
+44 walks into the bar and a guy says who are you! Mark goes i play bass and sing! Craig I play guitar and sing! Travis I play drums! Shane I play guitar! Carol I used to play guitar and sing in +44!
It will take a whil to get it, it may even offend some of you! and I wrote it before Ryan left the band
How is that a joke? Its just a story. You suck.
well said lmao :D
Marcus
12-17-2007, 10:06 PM
:(
watch1the8world2
12-17-2007, 10:32 PM
SHUT DOWN!
...Chris...
12-18-2007, 06:47 AM
no no watch the world you must emphasize. like so:
SHUT DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!
Marcus
12-18-2007, 07:57 PM
w/e
boxcarracer
12-22-2007, 12:14 PM
why can't Helen Keller drive?
because she's a woman.
Hannah_89
12-23-2007, 06:13 PM
Some really funny ones in this thread!
Man walks into the bedroom with a duck under his arm he shouts "Thats the pig I have to sleep with". His wife says " thats a duck", he says "I was talking to the duck". :lol:
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men
say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this Country, we don't speak aloud in public places about your sex
lives... " "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'
abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella
'Mississippi'."
8)
Marcus
12-23-2007, 06:18 PM
hahaha
...Chris...
12-23-2007, 06:35 PM
rofl.
TheAdventure
12-24-2007, 01:29 AM
why can't Helen Keller drive?
because she's a woman.
Loves it.
I don't know if these were posted on here or not:
How did Helen Keller burn her left ear?
She answered the iron.
How did she burn her right ear?
They called back.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell off the cliff?
She screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Or you can say she "Screamed her hands off."
Sergio
01-12-2008, 02:46 AM
HOLY SHIT!!!! (pun intended)
edit: Can you see the image?
edit: Can you see the image?
yea lol
My Only Fear
01-13-2008, 06:07 PM
I see it too. Pretty hilarious.
Marcus
01-13-2008, 06:24 PM
HOLY SHIT!!!! (pun intended)
edit: Can you see the image?
what is it?
Sergio
01-13-2008, 06:24 PM
Look closely, it's Jesus.
Marcus
01-13-2008, 06:25 PM
I see that, but what is it really?
you get props
Marcus
01-13-2008, 06:32 PM
of what a cat or dog
AshleyDisko
01-13-2008, 06:32 PM
Ewwwww. I think it's a dog.
How the fuck do I know?
Erm, A dog?
boxcarracer
02-04-2008, 11:21 PM
What noise does a baby make in the microwave?
I don't know i couldn't hear it, i was masturbating too loud.
watch1the8world2
02-05-2008, 07:58 PM
how many babies does it take to paint a wall?
depends on how hard you throw them..
Omlord lol
Keep these baby jokes comin
"What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A Pedophiles ass.."
ew. I think thats worse than a dead baby one. But maybe not.
...Chris...
02-05-2008, 11:42 PM
That made me spill my ice tea, that was really good, but what you shouldve said was Michael Jackson.
Powered by vBulletin™ Version 4.0.1 Copyright © 2012 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.